PHOTO: LIZ CARLSON Woodpecker Bay Bach is situated near Punakaiki on the South Island’s West Coast.

What are the qualifications for finding New Zealand’s most perfect bach?

This question has been on my mind for years, as I make my way through every type of holiday home imaginable here in beautiful Aotearoa.

From being surrounded by the most vivid shades of ’70s orange imaginable, to waking up to mice climbing on me, to experiencing the most epic barbecue weekends at the beach, I’ve narrowed it down to a few key features I look for.

For me, what defines the “perfect bach” is simple: location, nature, haphazardness, colour, kitschness. And also it must have an air of pure, unadulterated DIY and – ideally – an outdoor loo with a view.